it’s been forever since I did a monthly / yearly review but this year has been a year of self-reflection and deep thinking for me. it was an academically stressful year, what with IP EOYs.
Academically, I think I’ve done pretty well. I know that I’ve worked hard and I’ve reaped what I sow(ed) (is that a word). I am pretty proud of what I’ve achieved and although i still wish I’ve done better and hit my goal of TOP 10%; like I really thought I would’ve attained that ?$!?! But I guess i wasn’t the only one who improved soooo. Also I managed to go to Bangkok and it was a super memorable trip for me :”))
I hope that these grades will let me into the school I want.
This year was also one filled with growth. Everyone was busy with their studies and I guess that showed me who I rather stay close to and made effort to maintain contact with. It also applies to the friends who did the same and it has made me appreciate them so much more.
2017 meant that I was secondary 4 and that meant major exams for me. Although it did get stressful, I found joy in learning; in studying. Of course I didn't like cramming, I dislike memory work and memorizing stuff that only partially made sense in my mind. I had to rush for this tuition and that tuition and I spent so much time in the library. Working hard and planting forests all paid off though. The study period also led me to become closer to my study buddies, especially Reb!!! Reb you are super generous and caring and thoughtful. Thank you for sharing all your lit notes with me and explaining lit to me + doing notes together. I definitely felt that I was the one benefitting because you're so much better at it than I am.
Of course this year didn't go without problems. I did encounter slight friendship problems like birthday celebration stuff...people who didn't want to celebrate, who were reluctant to play a part in it, and I questioned our friendship and the authenticity of it. Are we truly friends or are you only celebrating it because you feel obliged to? I mean I never confronted them and for a period of time I was pissed off and cold towards them. This situation still hasn't been addressed but I mean we've graduated and won't be facing this issue anyway...so. I mean I wish it wasn't even a problem but I guess people drift apart and slowly become strangers?
I still will NOT eat alone in the canteen and would honestly rather starve (that's so stupid and I have to get over the fear of eating alone and being judged... ugh). Like I should really correct my FOMO and get over the fear of being seen as lonely. I guess my recent years of friendship issues has caused this problem but I know that I am now loved and I have friends who care about me.
To all those I've left behind in 2017 and 2016...2015....: I'm glad I did. Every year I grow stronger and tougher and I learn to love myself more. I know my self-worth and I won't have anyone destroying it.
2017 meant that I was secondary 4 and that meant major exams for me. Although it did get stressful, I found joy in learning; in studying. Of course I didn't like cramming, I dislike memory work and memorizing stuff that only partially made sense in my mind. I had to rush for this tuition and that tuition and I spent so much time in the library. Working hard and planting forests all paid off though. The study period also led me to become closer to my study buddies, especially Reb!!! Reb you are super generous and caring and thoughtful. Thank you for sharing all your lit notes with me and explaining lit to me + doing notes together. I definitely felt that I was the one benefitting because you're so much better at it than I am.
Of course this year didn't go without problems. I did encounter slight friendship problems like birthday celebration stuff...people who didn't want to celebrate, who were reluctant to play a part in it, and I questioned our friendship and the authenticity of it. Are we truly friends or are you only celebrating it because you feel obliged to? I mean I never confronted them and for a period of time I was pissed off and cold towards them. This situation still hasn't been addressed but I mean we've graduated and won't be facing this issue anyway...so. I mean I wish it wasn't even a problem but I guess people drift apart and slowly become strangers?
I still will NOT eat alone in the canteen and would honestly rather starve (that's so stupid and I have to get over the fear of eating alone and being judged... ugh). Like I should really correct my FOMO and get over the fear of being seen as lonely. I guess my recent years of friendship issues has caused this problem but I know that I am now loved and I have friends who care about me.
To all those I've left behind in 2017 and 2016...2015....: I'm glad I did. Every year I grow stronger and tougher and I learn to love myself more. I know my self-worth and I won't have anyone destroying it.
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