gratitude

these few days i've been feeling more emo than usual; perhaps its due to the fact that it has finally sunken into my head: these teachers that have been teaching me for the past year or two will never conduct lessons for me again.

This really reflects how people always take things for granted. I never really cherished lessons; I just took them as they came, caring more about my grades, and I never cherished my teachers either. I never gave my teachers teachers' day cards. This was my first time writing cards willingly.

It's so ironic; that its only at the last moments, when we realize: this is my last chance; that we panic, when in actuality, we had every single chance to be grateful for what we have (or had). I feel so stupid for being so emo with this weird bittersweet feeling tugging at my chest these past few days thinking ill never have lessons with my teachers again, bla bla bla, but i never really appreciated them anyway last time and never took the time to even bother writing teachers' day cards for them.

writing cards for them yesterday made me emo: would the teachers keep these cards? in 10 years time, will they re-read them and remember who we are? perhaps im overthinking this; for some people, their teachers don't mean much to them (i was one of these people last time)

the teachers i've met truly truly changed my school life and it makes me sad that i won't ever sit in (mdm lee's lessons laughing at her antics, or in mrs tan's lessons where she's repeatedly telling us history gossip. i'll even miss ms lee's "i'll box you".)

i've always maintained that respect is earned, and (teachers) can't force us to respect them (since school is always forcing us to respect teachers etc etc lol) but y'all have truly earned my respect :')